One Day You'll All Know

You're The Liar (New Song Lyrics)

2010-03-29T23:16:00.004-04:00

if everything were invisible,
then nothing else would come to pass,
and nothing else would matter less
than the fact that no one could see me.
i ramble, i rant in this unworldly tone,
i scramble to find whats already been known,
yet it can't free me.

a day free of sin is all that i find
that can hold back the longings that i left behind
to prove to you that nothing can be called a dream
when you're visible to me.

and so now you're gone
and i can breathe easy
to know that it's done.

i lived like i died when you walked away
i find that there will never be less to say
you don't understand, but i always cared
excuse me, i lied, but i used to care

i search for a day free of sin, and i find
that it takes away the pain i hold inside
i'll prove to you this nightmare can't be called a dream
as long as your here with to me.

i fell from graces
into a world of hate
you streched your arms out
only to drown me in the wake

you're a liar
and i know now, you're not what you seemed
such a liar
and i wish i'd awake from this dream
abandon this hope for redemption
forget all the tension
and walk away, walk away
blindfold pulled tight.

a day free of sin
the pain held within
i know now that i should have died.

you're the liar.

just a thought....

2010-01-07T00:00:00.003-05:00

fear, feel
the pain renewed
i laugh at the thought.
nothing new
to me.
pain is never real
just a thought
in a mind.
the darkness unfolds
and i show my true colors
in the light
and it blinds me
to your glaring eyes.
you are useless to me
yet i long to see
you accept me for me.
i can't be better
than what i have been
but failure is as far from reach
as success seems to be.
i fall
but no ground to embrace me
just the eyes
i cannot see.
i showed you who i am
now the hate brings the pain.
just a thought
in a mind.
never any more
than a thought
in a mind.

but it feels so real.

Anymore

2009-06-03T23:11:00.004-04:00

death sounds all too apealing
to a person on their last rope
dont bother to try and understand
there is no rhyme or reason
just kill me quickly
i can not do it myself
cut away that piece you made
inside of my heart
i love you
but you dont believe me
anymore

My Plague

2009-06-03T22:55:00.004-04:00

i slave
waste life
trying to find
reason
i tried
but i wont
ever understand
this sick, twisted game
maybe i am
a liar.
but then why
do i feel this
kill me inside
fuck this life
just run and hide
forget
forget
but never
forgive
hold an unexplained
disdain
and i will
do the same.
take a deep breath
and rip out this plague
my plague.

Things Will Be Better

2009-05-08T18:51:00.003-04:00

Your strength is amazing, you fight to hold on,
but things will be better when I'm gone.
My beautiful girl, don't shed a tear,
but it will be simpler without me here.
And though you say everything will be fine,
it just can't be, 'cause when you're mine
your world turns its back: you are forsaken.
Will I not be happy till everything's taken
that you hold dear?
This cut will sear
with the pain of loss, but only for awhile;
I have to give in, I will fail this trial.
I will not force you to endure
this terrible torment anymore.
So following suit of the Prodigal Son,
things will be better when I'm gone.

The real question is can I leave at all.

I Don't Like Saying It, But...

2009-05-04T01:46:00.000-04:00

Please don't think that I'm the cure.
I'm not quite sure I can endure
such a task,
but you'll ask,
and I still have to say
this is not the way
to make me love you.
But I really do
not want to hurt such a good friend.
But in the end
I love her.
I still bleed for another.

And I'm so sorry

The Madman

2009-05-03T22:52:00.001-04:00

I see a madman in my dreams.
I feel my hate bursting the seams
of my carefully constructed
shell; my pain's erupted,
and as the madman chuckles
I feel my legs begin to buckle.
So I lunge, I catch his throat,
and just as I begin to choke
the life from him, he screams,
"You fool; not all is as it seems"
and then I see
this terrible madman is really me

Now what?

Parasite

2009-04-30T16:07:00.002-04:00

You fucking bug;
you feed off of what I love.
You make me sick, and you drive me insane,
and as I stare through this window pane,
Just know I really do
wish I could kill you,

but it wouldn't fix anything.

The Brightside Of Everything

2009-04-28T21:42:00.002-04:00

Is it all I can do, cause grief and pain?
I speak of the hurt, yet I seem to refrain
to tell you how much you mean to me.
Of how you make me smile, and how you set me free
from the pain and the strain of living in this world.
If it weren't for you, my life would have unfurled,
and no matter what the price,
I will stay here for you until Hell's covered in ice,
and the good Lord take me from this place.
But then I'd watch over you in heaven, if that be the case.
Waiting until the day that we'd be reunited
so now I must fix the wrongs that go un-righted.
And there's only so much I can do,
but I will always love and care for you.

My poor excuse for an Apology ;D

In The Mirror

2009-04-28T16:37:00.000-04:00

It truly burns me inside
to know that I must abide
by the decisions you had to make
and when I try to sleep, my body aches
my mind screams, my soul writhes
and I hope you know I cannot survive
without you
and it stays true
my feelings never went away
they will always be right here to stay
and though you have yet to break his hold
I cannot give in, I refuse to fold
but although I will not shed an outward tear
I hate what I see when I look In The Mirror

Confliction

2009-04-27T23:57:00.000-04:00

I won't allow my own weakness to stop me
I cannot see anything but what what I must set free.
And if I die before it's through,
then at least I know it's safe for you.
I don't want to cause dicomfort,
But despite my greatest effort,
I'm losing to him, I'm losing my mind.
I only hope is it's in God's grand design
that I save you from everything inside of this shell,
and keep you away from my personal hell.
And I hope in the end, when all's said and done
that I will be the only one
left standing.
Then I'm all yours.

My Test

2009-04-26T23:38:00.000-04:00

I showed you
what I am, what I was.
You stayed here with me
and now I don't know what the reason could be.
My mind is so torn, I hate what I've become,
and the only things to blame are the things that I've done.
But you listened, and you stay.
Now I wish, and I pray
that I do not fail, that he will not win;
that I can fight the monster within.
But hold this lasting statement true
no ones cares for you like I do.

Monsters (Inside)

2009-04-20T22:24:00.000-04:00

Cut short, breathing hard
I can not see the bloodstained cards
that God has delt me
and I only want to fold
Hate, Grief;
it all leads up to my defeat
Rage, Lies;
it all comes out in my demise
I can not win, I'm destined to fail
and to destroy this life so frail
how can you say you love me
when I hold these monsers within?
Am I so selfish
that I'd destroy your life on a self-serving whim?
Are you sure
you want to risk it?

The Change

2009-04-19T01:33:00.001-04:00

I missed the love that I once had.
I wished I hadn't fucked up so bad.
I felt as though I would never recover
from all those times I'd said I'd loved her.
I knew that I would never find a girl
I could trust with the darkness of my world.
I thought that all these things were true,
but then I found you

Oh, how wrong one can be.

1 month with you <3

What I Want To Hear

2009-04-17T02:56:00.000-04:00

Promise
you will never leave
Say
that this is ment to be
Find
the strength to set yourself free
Know
that you mean every thing to me

I love you <3

I Haven't Forgotten

2009-04-16T00:28:00.000-04:00

There was a time when I'd never let you go,
but those days are so long past.
Two years removed, but I want you to know,
I didn't think a friendship would last.
I hurt you so badly, I spit in your face.
I chased after girls in which you consoled.
But what you never realized that hidden in my haste
was a rage toward myself that was taking its hold.
I destroyed myself, while you found another.
I never thought I could feel so dead.
But I healed myself and worked to recover
the love I had squandered when I lost my head.
I never succeeded, and I moved on
and damaged my self more than the first time.
I swore i would win you, a new self would dawn.
But failure again was the tune of my rhyme.
Now we're both happy, loving the best we have known,
and our friendship still lives.
I promised not to leave you alone
while I have breath to give.

I will make good on that.
I haven't forgotten.

A Message To Her

2009-04-15T18:40:00.000-04:00

I miss you so bad right now
I can barely breathe.
I love you so much.
Don't ever leave
<3

Hate Me (Song) {DEC. 2008}

2009-04-15T17:57:00.000-04:00

I pause and wonder
why I stopped my life for you.
Was there any reason, any reason
to fuck up like I do?
I gave you my heart, and you gave my a lie.
I was blind from the start, but why did I try?
I just want this to end.

We fall from buildings
like a fall from grace.

Because you hate me,
hate me
like I always knew you would.
So faking
restraint
I run away from you.
And trust me when I say,
this could have been another way.
You just hate me,
Hate me
so bad.

Why?

2009-04-15T16:12:00.000-04:00

Never, have I ever had a better friend,
Always, with me until the end.
Short, is the time that we had together.
Long, will I wish that I could have been better.
Then, you told me to run, I listened, no questions
Now, I wish Bravery had been in my possesion.
Easy, was telling you all of my dreams.
Hard, was having you taken from me.
Everything, was fine when you were around.
Nothing, can fill this void I have found,
Deep, inside me. I hate to seem so
Shallow, so selfish, unable to let go,
Accept, what has happened, see that you're gone.
Deny, my memories, make myself move on.
Forget, you and all that we did. No, I must
Remember, all that we fought through and trust
Living, is the right thing to do, but truly, (I'm)
Dying, inside without you to guide me.
Why did you leave me, Best Friend?
Why did I leave you, as you met your end?
How can you forgive me, I abandoned you?
How can I believe, it was what you wanted me to do?

I miss you.

In memory of Pete. I can't forget you. The first friend I would die for, but you beat me to it. Why couldn't you have just let me stay? I feel like I let you die. I miss you.

Finding Perfection

2009-04-15T03:33:00.005-04:00

I was so alone, I was lost at sea
until you came along and saw it fit to rescue me.
Your eyes were an escape,
solace that set me free.
My only life line, my sole protection
from the memories and cold reflection
of all the things I did to me
and only you could set me free.

But try as I may, as far as I run,
I cannot escape my loaded gun.
I fight so hard, I try to escape
but I am so ensnared by this self imposed fate.
The burdens outweigh. This paper's thin,
& the memory of deception aches within.
Lust for the trigger entwines with the fear,
but the voices are back, they're all I can hear.
Then I realize it's yours, it becomes so clear.
You're the only thing that I hold dear.

You split my thickest armor
and saved my dying soul.
You saw the piece that had been ripped away,
And you filled that gaping hole.

Malcolm Wade

Liadan Dilara

Girl With The Gray Eyes {AUG. 2008}

2009-04-15T03:28:00.000-04:00

Grey eyes peirce, hate me, love me.
Show me how you truly feel.
Running, faster.
Breathing, harder.
Theres no escaping me.
A coma, self induced.
An armor, well constructed.
Don't hide from me,
say what you think,
because you can destroy me.

Empty

2009-04-15T03:10:00.000-04:00

It's fun to see others in pain,
to twist the knife,
alleiviate my stryfe,
yet they'll never know why
I hurt them this way.
But all I really am
is empty inside.

I Can't Help But Understate

2009-04-15T03:03:00.000-04:00

Love runs so fast, and I'm in no shape,
yet I collide with you, as if by fate.
My breathe, so long abused,
seems to refill when I'm with you,
my reason, so easily discarded,
returns to heal my broken heart, and
my sanity, so far gone,
comes back when you are in my arms.
To say that I love you
is an understatement.

The Kid In The Back Of The Room

2009-04-15T02:57:00.001-04:00

I am the kid in the back
but you would never know.
I hide my pain behind laughter
allow my hate to grow
I stand as strong as I can
against the bitter cold
but I can feel, as sure as I can be
that insanity has tightened its hold.
One day, my strength will fail
I will lose my poise.
And then you will understand
despite the noise
who I really am.
I am the heart in the gloom.
I am The Kid In The Back Of The Room