Parasite

You fucking bug;
you feed off of what I love.
You make me sick, and you drive me insane,
and as I stare through this window pane,
Just know I really do
wish I could kill you,

but it wouldn't fix anything.

The Brightside Of Everything

Is it all I can do, cause grief and pain?
I speak of the hurt, yet I seem to refrain
to tell you how much you mean to me.
Of how you make me smile, and how you set me free
from the pain and the strain of living in this world.
If it weren't for you, my life would have unfurled,
and no matter what the price,
I will stay here for you until Hell's covered in ice,
and the good Lord take me from this place.
But then I'd watch over you in heaven, if that be the case.
Waiting until the day that we'd be reunited
so now I must fix the wrongs that go un-righted.
And there's only so much I can do,
but I will always love and care for you.


My poor excuse for an Apology ;D

In The Mirror

It truly burns me inside
to know that I must abide
by the decisions you had to make
and when I try to sleep, my body aches
my mind screams, my soul writhes
and I hope you know I cannot survive
without you
and it stays true
my feelings never went away
they will always be right here to stay
and though you have yet to break his hold
I cannot give in, I refuse to fold
but although I will not shed an outward tear
I hate what I see when I look In The Mirror

Confliction

I won't allow my own weakness to stop me
I cannot see anything but what what I must set free.
And if I die before it's through,
then at least I know it's safe for you.
I don't want to cause dicomfort,
But despite my greatest effort,
I'm losing to him, I'm losing my mind.
I only hope is it's in God's grand design
that I save you from everything inside of this shell,
and keep you away from my personal hell.
And I hope in the end, when all's said and done
that I will be the only one
left standing.
Then I'm all yours.

My Test

I showed you
what I am, what I was.
You stayed here with me
and now I don't know what the reason could be.
My mind is so torn, I hate what I've become,
and the only things to blame are the things that I've done.
But you listened, and you stay.
Now I wish, and I pray
that I do not fail, that he will not win;
that I can fight the monster within.
But hold this lasting statement true
no ones cares for you like I do.

Monsters (Inside)

Cut short, breathing hard
I can not see the bloodstained cards
that God has delt me
and I only want to fold
Hate, Grief;
it all leads up to my defeat
Rage, Lies;
it all comes out in my demise
I can not win, I'm destined to fail
and to destroy this life so frail
how can you say you love me
when I hold these monsers within?
Am I so selfish
that I'd destroy your life on a self-serving whim?
Are you sure
you want to risk it?

The Change

I missed the love that I once had.
I wished I hadn't fucked up so bad.
I felt as though I would never recover
from all those times I'd said I'd loved her.
I knew that I would never find a girl
I could trust with the darkness of my world.
I thought that all these things were true,
but then I found you

Oh, how wrong one can be.

1 month with you <3

What I Want To Hear

Promise
you will never leave
Say
that this is ment to be
Find
the strength to set yourself free
Know
that you mean every thing to me



I love you <3

I Haven't Forgotten

There was a time when I'd never let you go,
but those days are so long past.
Two years removed, but I want you to know,
I didn't think a friendship would last.
I hurt you so badly, I spit in your face.
I chased after girls in which you consoled.
But what you never realized that hidden in my haste
was a rage toward myself that was taking its hold.
I destroyed myself, while you found another.
I never thought I could feel so dead.
But I healed myself and worked to recover
the love I had squandered when I lost my head.
I never succeeded, and I moved on
and damaged my self more than the first time.
I swore i would win you, a new self would dawn.
But failure again was the tune of my rhyme.
Now we're both happy, loving the best we have known,
and our friendship still lives.
I promised not to leave you alone
while I have breath to give.


I will make good on that.
I haven't forgotten.

A Message To Her

I miss you so bad right now
I can barely breathe.
I love you so much.
Don't ever leave
<3

Hate Me (Song) {DEC. 2008}

I pause and wonder
why I stopped my life for you.
Was there any reason, any reason
to fuck up like I do?
I gave you my heart, and you gave my a lie.
I was blind from the start, but why did I try?
I just want this to end.

We fall from buildings
like a fall from grace.

Because you hate me,
hate me
like I always knew you would.
So faking
restraint
I run away from you.
And trust me when I say,
this could have been another way.
You just hate me,
Hate me
so bad.

Why?

Never, have I ever had a better friend,
Always, with me until the end.
Short, is the time that we had together.
Long, will I wish that I could have been better.
Then, you told me to run, I listened, no questions
Now, I wish Bravery had been in my possesion.
Easy, was telling you all of my dreams.
Hard, was having you taken from me.
Everything, was fine when you were around.
Nothing, can fill this void I have found,
Deep, inside me. I hate to seem so
Shallow, so selfish, unable to let go,
Accept, what has happened, see that you're gone.
Deny, my memories, make myself move on.
Forget, you and all that we did. No, I must
Remember, all that we fought through and trust
Living, is the right thing to do, but truly, (I'm)
Dying, inside without you to guide me.
Why did you leave me, Best Friend?
Why did I leave you, as you met your end?
How can you forgive me, I abandoned you?
How can I believe, it was what you wanted me to do?



I miss you.



In memory of Pete. I can't forget you. The first friend I would die for, but you beat me to it. Why couldn't you have just let me stay? I feel like I let you die. I miss you.

Finding Perfection

I was so alone, I was lost at sea
until you came along and saw it fit to rescue me.
Your eyes were an escape,
solace that set me free.
My only life line, my sole protection
from the memories and cold reflection
of all the things I did to me
and only you could set me free.



But try as I may, as far as I run,
I cannot escape my loaded gun.
I fight so hard, I try to escape
but I am so ensnared by this self imposed fate.
The burdens outweigh. This paper's thin,
& the memory of deception aches within.
Lust for the trigger entwines with the fear,
but the voices are back, they're all I can hear.
Then I realize it's yours, it becomes so clear.
You're the only thing that I hold dear.


You split my thickest armor
and saved my dying soul.
You saw the piece that had been ripped away,
And you filled that gaping hole.







Malcolm Wade

Liadan Dilara

Girl With The Gray Eyes {AUG. 2008}

Grey eyes peirce, hate me, love me.
Show me how you truly feel.
Running, faster.
Breathing, harder.
Theres no escaping me.
A coma, self induced.
An armor, well constructed.
Don't hide from me,
say what you think,
because you can destroy me.

Empty

It's fun to see others in pain,
to twist the knife,
alleiviate my stryfe,
yet they'll never know why
I hurt them this way.
But all I really am
is empty inside.

I Can't Help But Understate

Love runs so fast, and I'm in no shape,
yet I collide with you, as if by fate.
My breathe, so long abused,
seems to refill when I'm with you,
my reason, so easily discarded,
returns to heal my broken heart, and
my sanity, so far gone,
comes back when you are in my arms.
To say that I love you
is an understatement.

The Kid In The Back Of The Room

I am the kid in the back
but you would never know.
I hide my pain behind laughter
allow my hate to grow
I stand as strong as I can
against the bitter cold
but I can feel, as sure as I can be
that insanity has tightened its hold.
One day, my strength will fail
I will lose my poise.
And then you will understand
despite the noise
who I really am.
I am the heart in the gloom.
I am The Kid In The Back Of The Room